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ReDead News

NEWS 1: A Hylian was found dead in the woods. officials says that he was looking for the forest temple when a redead walked in his path. He screamed "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then was never heard from again. Rumors spread saying he was raped to death by ReDead species 328...


NEWS 2: A man was walking down the dark alley when he spotted a shadow near the wall. He started to take out a flashlight when an ear piching scream came from that shadowy figure! To his dismay, the shadow was a ReDead Species 328. He was never heard from again...


NEWS 3: A Zora child was playing with his friends when he found a cave on the other side of Lake Hylia. He swam in and surfaced in a dark and spooky area filled with Skulluta's. He decided to explore and eventually came to a secret cave. He heard a moaning. "mooooooooooooooan moooooan moann..." He decided to check it out... Little did he know that he has wandered directly into a great big REDEAD HIVE!!! He barely escaped with his life...


NEWS 4: Shigeru Miyamoto, creator of the Zelda series, was wandering around near Nintendo Of Japan when a brown, humanoid shaped figure was slowly walking across the doorway. He could not tell what it was. So he wont to get a closer look. Sadly, uppon aproaching the figure, he found it was a ReDead Species 326, and got badly raped. He then ran away to call the swordsman to kill the evil manifestation...


NEWS 5: A ReDead species 328 has been captured! This will make it possible to find a cure! Hyrule's best scientists are currently extracting the ReDead's DNA and are searching for a cure! How we caught it: Mike Ingo was on his way to get Lon Lon Milk, going through the ReDead Fields, and on his way back a ReDead must have needed a ride somewhere, because scientists found it in the trunk of Ingo's truck! That's all for today!


NEWS 6: ChuChu's Place's system was attacked by Yellow and Blue "PIKA-Chu's". We are working to restore our partner website. We are also trying to make the Chus start powering the computer again instead of causing more trouble.


NEWS 7: ChuChu's Place is now partway restored. We have programmed a chip in the computer to be ELECTRIC PROOF. But still no way to get the electric Chus to power the system anymore...


NEWS 8: The Chu's won't generate power for the computer! Apparently, the Chu's were getting tired of being in a metal box, and they broke out! Then they attacked us! We could not get them to get back to work, so we had to put them in a Chu Proof container. But nothing will get them to create power...


NEWS 9: The Chu's escaped from the computer. We now have to run on Hylian Power Supply, which is not very reliable...


NEWS 10: At ChuChu's Place, we captured Pikachu's! (The Pokemon.) We are finding a way to generate power from them, because Pokemon are more powerful than Chu's.


NEWS 11: Finally, the ReDead News station (this station) has moved away from the ReDead Fields, and is now in KakaRiko village. We can now make news much faster and more frequently than before. Expect lots of news soon, and REALLY FAST!


NEWS 12: Stupid ChuChu's... THEY ESCAPED!!! THEY ARE CAUSING TROUBLE EVERYWHERE... AND RUINING REDEAD PLACE!!!


NEWS 13: Working as hard as we can, the ChuChu's will not work!!! They instead will attack our buildings and we may have to temporarily shut down...


NEWS 14: ReDead Place has cleared out all the ChuChus. But because of the damage, I have to pay 4000 Rupees by the end of the year, or else the place will shut down.


NEWS 15: Everyone at ReDead Place and ChuChu's Place needs money to keep the site running. I need to find some way to get lots of money FAST!


NEWS 16: I am going to go get a job. First I will try MALO MART...


NEWS 17: I am trying to get the job at MALO MART for a while now, but lots of people want the job. It pays 12 Rupees an hour!


NEWS 18: AND DRAKE GETS THE JOB!!! Now I can finally pay to keep ReDead Place running! Those Pikachu's better keep working for these Rupees...


NEWS 19:

The Hunt For Pikachu...

Drake: Ok. So now we have to get Malo Mart candy, right?

Joe: RIGHT! HEY WAIT A MINUTE!

Drake: Where is Malon?

Joe: She went to go get milk! HEY WAIT A MINUTE!

Drake: MALO MART CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe: *punch*

Drake: HUZZA!...huh? *falls asleep* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Joe: aargh... HEY A PACHIRISU!

Drake: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Malon: I'M HEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!!!!!


Joe: ................... Your late.


To be continued...


NEWS 20:

Drake: I think we're lost...

Joe: YEAH MALON YOU GOT US LOST!!!

Malon: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Joe: Drake! Wake her up!

Drake: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Joe: ...

Pachirisu: PACHIRISU!!!

Joe: Hey Drake your Pachirisu!!!

Drake: MALO MART CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe: .......

Drake runs around crazy and falls off a cliff*

Drake: CAAAAAANDYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!*

NEWS 21: ReDead Place will remain near the entrance to Kakariko Village, on the outside edge of Hyrule Field.

NEWS 22: ReDead Place is Back!!! And also begins PlayStation Store being back up, as well as me wanting to DESTROY SONY COMPUTER ENTERTAINMENT!!! SCE HAS SO MANY PROBLEMS!!! WE TRIED TO INSTALL OUR 2 FREE GAMES AND THE RETARDED ERRORS APEARED FOLLOWED BY THE DISSAPEARING GAMES!!! BOTH FREE GAME SLOTS DISAPPEARED!!! I HATE YOU SONY!!! End of news segment for now. We will continue the news segment as SRE(Sony Retarded Entertainment) fixes this RETARDED problem. OH YEAH AND I HATE YOU SONY!!!!

NEWS 23: Comments are now ENABLED on ReDead Place!

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